SicklyEmo28

Please take good care in case I don't make it. Know that it will be okay. Though it came to an abrupt and unexpected ending, know that I went in hopes for a better place beyond what this life had to offer me. I will miss you dearly, as I would hope and wish you'd miss me too. I wish I could've stuck around longer, because there was so much that I still yearned to do. But it seems as such that it just wasn't my time. So maybe I'll catch you in another galaxy far from here on another timeline. Know that I'll be waiting for you, just as you were always so patient with me. I know it won't be easy but just keep pushing on through. I love you more than my words could ever express though I wasn't the best at showing it. I just hope the smiles I brought to you always felt worth it. And I know our time together may feel as if it was too short, I do agree. Just don't let all our good times become just sad memories. I want you to remember me long after I'm gone. So let my voice ring loud and echo on so you don't forget my sound. I hope I left a deep mark as you've left a big one with me. Though I'm traveling a great distance I promise to always have the memories with me. Please keep them with you until we meet again. I love you forever, and forever has no end. ♥️ I'll see you next time, Be careful.

You know what. I don't even know what to say. I feel lost. I feel unhappy. I want to change but have no ambition to do so. I don't know who I am anymore. I don't know what to feel. I've wanted to write something for months now, but I could never find the words. Hell, I don't even know if this is what I wanted to say, or how I wanted to come back to this page. I graduated. I'm 20 now, I can't even remember how long it's been. My last post says 2019, but it feels like yesterday. I planned how I would post the last piece and never come back. How I would never look back. Now, look at me. Pitiful. I want to get something off my chest, but I don't know what. I want to talk to anyone about everything. -How well I've been doing -How bad I've been feeling -Who I want to become -What I want to do for the rest of my life But nobody will listen or understand what I am trying to say so I can be heard... ...It's not like I give them the chance to anyway... I don't feel motivated, just stuck in a never-ending cycle that is driving me insane and making me tired. I want to go home. But I don't know where home is. I wish I had somewhere I felt safe and comfortable enough to call home. No one understands. So there is never any use in me trying to explain. No one hears me. No one knows how I feel. No one can understand how I think. I'm tired. But I think even that has become an excuse to hide that I am depressed and unmotivated, that I am stuck in a constant war with myself, and I can't win. I'll never win. No one hears me. In a room full of people, I'm by myself screaming for help, begging anyone to help me out of this pit I've tried countless times to claw my way out of its grasp, but it's hopeless. I'm a lost cause and I know I am. I always have been. I won't reach out, so I won't find help. I won't let anyone close enough to know how much pain I've been bearing, so I'll just suffer in silence, hiding behind that same damn smile and that goofy laugh that everyone depends on and expects from me. I'm so tired. I wish I could say there are better days but every good day is followed by something disastrous. Be careful.